Going Unemployed

I will be unemployed soon.

And I have to be honest, there are so many thoughts in my head!

What if this is a big mistake?

What if I am really adding more burden into my life?

Maybe I should rethink this?

But I think I have to do this.

Going unemployed is probably a bad thing for a lot of people. Who would want to stop receiving a paycheck every month and getting a stable income? Especially if your income is not bad at all.

I do think that being unemployed is bad. Going unstable and not having an income every month is no Bueno. I sincerely think nobody wants to not earn money every month.

As much as we could, we should not even think about quitting our job and be unemployed. However, we don't live in a perfect world. Our world has flaws which resulting in sometimes, being unemployed is the best way to be at the moment.

Sometimes our work is extremely bad for our mental health, sometimes we need a long break, and sometimes we should challenge ourselves to be unemployed so that we can actually grow closer towards entrepreneurship.

Before I submit my resignation letter, I did ask several strangers on Reddit (yeah, probably a stupid move). And as expected, most people said why would you quit? That's stupid. Just work half-assedly and still receive that paycheck. Some of them told me to just find another job because you should still have income every month. Some of them encouraged me to just quit.

Shortly after that, I realized that this isn't helping. Me asking strangers on the internet, what am I doing? They don't know what I have been through, my personality, my life, my thoughts. So their advice is rational and actually right. But it's not right for me. I can't blame them cause they don't and won't know who I am.

I realized that for once, can I please just make a big decision based on what I want instead of asking people.

Never have I ever make a big decision based on what I, Leni, truly want. I consider what other people said, what others would feel if I do this or that. And the saddest part is that when I did follow what others said and things did go wrong, I can only blame myself.

Small decisions are easy. I do it all the time. Like which brand of toothpaste I should get. Everyone could do it, and even if they made the wrong one, it usually ends up not a big mistake anyway.

But I think making big decisions is what test me to be more like an adult. Doing something that I can't really do, trust my intuition, and relying on myself. These are hard stuff and something I have never done before. It's unpleasant to make these big decisions but if you would just do it and take responsibility in whatever the result is, you might grow to be better.

It's kind of like playing a game. There are so many levels.

In order to move from level 1 to level 2, you have to accomplish a very difficult task that is not a typical level 1 task.

So you aren't used to it and with your level 1 ability, you need to solve a level 2 challenge. But that's what it takes. If you can solve that level 2 challenge with your level 1 ability, you have just proven yourself that you are worthy of being a level 2 player!

My fav. game ever, South Park Phone Destroyer.

Don't get me wrong, I am not writing this post to encourage you to quit. I am just sharing my thought process on being unemployed.

I still have tons of fear and anxiety. I never stop wondering what would happen after I got my last paycheck.

I think I will never be hired anymore.

Who would want to hire someone who has quit and chooses not to work for a long time?

Will my money go completely 0 after one year of not working?

How am I going to help my family with absolute 0 income?

Will I actually be happy after this?

But I counter these thoughts with the fact that I should actually be a lot more optimistic because I have been in a similar situation where I was unemployed for about 6 months. That time I was retrenched and my savings were so low because I wasn't prepared at all. I even had a relationship problem with my ex-boyfriend because the retrenchment was so sudden.

Compared to the present, I have actually fewer things to worry about. I have more savings, and no one is attached to me other than my own family, which I will reunite with soon. Even if I ended up with 0 money in the bank, there are still jobs I can work on.

If you are unemployed, you might find the tips to survive unemployment useful!

I wrote that a long time back and it will be my go-to survival guide soon.

I hope you are enjoying this piece!

Thanks for reading, see you in my next blog post.

-Leni