12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson is such a phenomenal book read by many. It even became a best seller at one point. Regardless if you believe in Jordan's point of view, it does have interesting takes on how to approach life in a chaos-free way.
I personally believe there is no rules for life, but for the sake of the reference, I want to come up with my own rules for life.
Not to mention, I am not a clinical psychologist, a professor, author...or a Canadian. So this post is meant to be just for fun. Enjoy!
12 Rules for Life
Rule No. 1: Accept that life is never meant to be fair.
We all have our experience or seen of how life is just unfair. For example, we might have seen there are some criminals went reported but did not go to prison at all or some people steal so little but gets the heavy sentence while a corrupt politician stole millions or billions of people's money yet still living the jail-free life. It may also happen to you in your workplace, like you have tons of experience and responsibilities but the boss decided to not give you any promotion.
It happens. I can go on all day describing all the unfairness this life has for everybody.
So what is the bottom line? The bottom line is that life is unfair. Everyone must have experience the unfairness of life at some point in their life. Life is not meant to be fair because life is life. It is meant for you to experience everything, the good and the bad. We have sometimes given up in our effort of doing something because we thought "what's the point of doing this? Life is unfair anyway!". You thought your effort in whatever you're doing doesn't matter because life is unfair and therefore it can stop you. But the one who is giving up and losing yourself is actually you. Life will always be unfair. If you give up because life is unfair, that might mean you will never do anything at all in life, because what's the point, right?
To accept that life was never meant to be fair might really help you a lot in moving on and be strong.
Yes, you did really well while others who did bad job is also being praised. That is just what life is.
Therefore, continue doing you.
Rule No. 2: Risk goes hand in hand with the profit
It might sound financial-ish but I am no financial guru.
But I apply this rule in all matters of my life ever since I gained this wisdom from a book (bonus point if you know what book it is). Profit and risk always go hand in hand. You can't have profit without risk and you can't have risk without profit.
Some people want to do something amazing but always afraid of the risk.
"What if this go wrong? What if I lose everything?"
My friends, learn that to gain the best profit, you have to also face the risk. It's fine if you don't want risk at all but know that you will not get the big profit. You can choose for your life to be risk-free and profit-free or you can choose to live your life to keep facing risks and get tremendous profits.
Some of the business people I met have face their biggest risk. Some deal with it, some are still dealing with it, some have yet to deal with it. But know that the risk is always there whenever you are looking for profit.
People have been asking, "how can I earn lots of money without any risk?".
The answer is, obviously, you can't. But some financial gurus and motivators see this as an opportunity to benefit themselves and sell you courses to be rich without any risk. They teach you the way and tells you "it's so safe!" knowing well that is what you want to hear. If you have fell for this tricks and signed up for their courses, I am not saying that you have been scammed, but it most likely is.
Just like what people say, "no pain, no gain"
Rule No. 3: The 10% Rule
Did you know that most successful investors are successful because they tried everything yet only 1% of their trials are the successful one and it got them profit through the roof!
For example, an investor might invest in 100 companies yet only 10 of them are so successful that they became a millionaire. This happens with many investors and VCs. They invest in many companies and for some reason, only a few of them bring huge success that it covers the failed one while leaving a lot more profits. So, if only a few of them are the successful ones, then why don't they just invest in 10 companies and be 100% successful? Why 100?
This is what I meant by the 10% rule. It doesn't have to be the exact 10% but the point is, out of everything you tried for, only 10% will actually brings fortune and success so outstanding, the failures don't matter anymore.
Maybe you are into crypto coins, so you invest in 10 different types of coins yet only 1 or 2 of them are rising and they rose so spectacular that the ones dropping in value don't even matter anymore because you have so much profit now.
Let's translate this to practical everyday life situation.
You are trying to grow some flowers in your garden. You plant 50 flowers in your garden, you take care each of them well, but apparently only 5 of them are strong and consistently blooming.
"Oh that's easy! So I need to just try this thing 10 times and therefore I will get 1 success?"
No, I'm not telling you to calculate how many times you need to try in order to get success.
What I am saying is that we just have to keep trying and keep making effort. One day, you will see that 10% of your effort actually became fruitful.
I have tried many businesses in my life, from being an MLM agent, selling my sister's MLM items, reselling, drop-shipping from other people's stuff, selling handbags, clothes, cosmetics, wig, hair extensions, secondhand items, vitamins, soaps, tea, and more. Only a few of them are successful and brings extraordinary profit. But I keep trying and generate more ideas so I can have bigger chance in having something successful.
Some people might try one time and they thought "I'm bad at this, I should just give up". Again, I am not telling you how you should live your life. But it's worth knowing that to easily give up on something means you are not open to the possibility of winning.
Rule No. 4: Patience is the key ingredient
You tried and tried and everything never seems to be fruitful, why? Do you feel like giving up because you haven't see the fruit of it yet? I have good news for you. Sometimes you have to be patient and keep doing what you're doing because your patience is what might brings you the success.
Let's say you are learning how to play piano. You tried everyday and you practiced for hours but in 1 month you are still not a professional. If you be patient, keep practicing, and do what you're currently doing, maybe in a year you have become a professional.
A year? That's a long time!
Most of whatever worthy in life actually takes a whole lot of time, that's why patience is the key ingredient.
You want to be in high position in your company? You have to work for many years.
You want to get that degree? You have to study for years.
You want to be rich? You have to work, study, and innovate for years.
Patience is what probably many people don't have.
In today's world, many prefer everything instant. Instant food, instant delivery, instant result.
For example, people want to be slim but they want instant result so they might fall into marketing tricks of many drug companies and ended up both not achieving what they want as well as losing a lot of money. Companies know that most people don't have patience and therefore it is a big opportunity for them to sell their instant products/services.
To be told that things take time to come into fruition is the bitter truth most people don't want to hear in life.
Rule No. 5: The Power of Compounding
Have you ever saved money in an actual piggy bank? When you were much younger, perhaps?
Everyday, you insert small money and when the piggy bank is so heavy and full, you break it and surprisingly you have saved hundreds of thousands of money!
I used to save in actual piggy bank and in my school's "deposit account" when I was small. Saving money is a big thing taught by my parents. My mom has her own piggy bank and so does my dad. My mom would give me lunch money and I would set aside small amount to be given to the piggy bank. When the piggy bank is full, breaking it is the best thing ever. There were a lot of money! From that amount of money, I then gave it to my school's "deposit account". It's just a program where they will help to keep the kids' money and record them in a small book. By the end of your class term, you may choose to withdraw it or keep it there. There was no interest or deduction, they just have that program to teach kids on saving money.
Compounding doesn’t only work on saving money. It works in almost everything in life.
As an example, in investment you can invest in little stocks each day no matter the condition. Maybe the stocks are falling and in terrible condition, but you must keep investing, every day. Not one day should be missed when it comes to compounding.
Little by little, things turned out to be a huge pile. That's exactly why compounding is so powerful, especially in investments where things will actually grow.
Compounding doesn't have to be in money or physical item form. It could also be in skills, training, thoughts, time, effort, or even habit.
Many people who are talented in certain skills are great in what they do thanks to compounding. A painter might paint everyday ever since they are small. They paint no matter it is a good or a bad day and by their adult time, they become a professional painter.
"Is it too late for me to compound?"
Compounding is never too late. You can start compounding now and see results in the future. Remember also the rule no. 4, patience is the key ingredient.
Rule No. 6: Trying to look rich is the fastest way to be poor
With social media so powerful, it's not impossible to have a feeling of wanting to look rich. You want to come out of your sports car dressed in designer clothing or having all expensive furniture in your home or drenched in sparkly diamonds.
Looking rich is easy. Especially with consumerism being promoted all over the internet. Discounts, sales, influencer photos. Looking rich is also a way for people to be treated nicely. I always believe that people want to be rich and famous because they just want to be treated nicely.
But trying to look rich is exactly the best way to poverty. There are endless clothes, bags, shoes, and jewels to buy, each costing so much money. Even if you are the billionaire's son or daughter, keep trying to look rich will probably make your journey to poverty so much quicker compared to if you never try to look rich in the first place.
All the amount of money spent on designer clothes is not worth the fake appreciation or admiration people will give you. I sometimes have a bad feeling for not having any designer items, too. I would compare my life to influencers on Instagram drenched in designer clothings and living the best live in their Villa and I would think, "why can't I be like them?".
But I think living a stable fulfilling life would be a happier, calmer life. Where I have my car, my house, my furniture, and bills paid.
To constantly chase the "looking rich" goal would be an exhausting and expensive life I will never be ready for.
Rule No. 7: Say No To Loans (as much as possible)
Loans are a great financial convenience. They serve you with that cash you need now but wanting to pay it in the future. I understand there are occasions people would be needing loans. I think you can utilize loans for the right necessities. However, to fully depend on loans for everything in your life might end up very badly.
I used to not wanting to have credit card at all because I know how tempted I will be once I have it. I would just swipe and swipe until Dora appeared and say "Swiper, no swiping!".
I was also influenced by some people in my social circle telling me "It's fine, just pay in installment!" for things that are quite expensive. They ended up with huge bills and the power of compounding applied on their credit card bills. It seems that they try to pay only the bare minimum every month and by the end of the year they are left with huge amount in the bill.
So you see, it traumatized me to hear those stories and so I vow to never own a credit card. But after many things happen to me due to not having a credit card, I decided to get one, for security reasons.
Thankfully, I am not in the crazy swiping mode. In fact, I only use my credit card on occasions where I have no cash and e-wallet payments aren't accepted (I refuse to use my debit card for that security reason) and every month I paid my bills in full so I have no extra payments for next month.
The thing is, I hate loans and owing people money. I try to not make it a habit of mine to borrow people's money for not urgent stuffs. If I don't have the money, I'd just not buy it. The power of installments will have no effect on me.
Although many banks have offered installments program with 0% interest, it is still not a very good way of living with monthly debts and bills. I mean, the current house utility bills and rentals are already bothering, why would I add more unnecessary bills?
An acquaintance told me that it's more comforting to pay in installment despite the interest and I can't agree with that. I found no comfort in installments payment at all. It feels like you pay every month so the ghoul can leave you alone for now but will come back next month. I would very much rather pay a huge sum now so the ghoul will never come back.
That being said, loans and installments are not entirely bad. Sometimes you really need them. Especially for huge purchases such as house or cars. So to be smart and choose the right circumstances to get loans or installments is what's really important here.
Rule No. 8: Acknowledge that you didn't know, don't know, and probably won't know something
I think the one big enabler of why human civilization is highly advanced now is documentation. If a prehistoric human knows how to light a fire but never teach their fellow or make it known, we might still be figuring out how to light a fire right now.
People know something and they wrote it down or tell that knowledge to others. That is why our healthcare applied the utmost hygiene because back then they weren't aware of it which caused most people died after getting procedures.
We might think, "that's so stupid, why didn't they know it last time" but it's hard to consider something you don't know.
To gain knowledge one can even sacrificed many things or people. For example, many people need to die in order for healthcare industry to be aware of hygiene. If nobody actually died, we might still be using rusty dirty knife in the surgery.
Sometimes people get a huge lesson out of the worst situation.
Maybe you were scammed by someone in the internet and only learned about scammers after losing $1000.
Maybe you got to learn so much about your industry after working in unpaid internship for months.
Maybe you only learned how to be a better person after being in a broken relationship.
Maybe you learned how to solve work problem after years being involved in it.
It's easy to blame yourself and call yourself "stupid" for not knowing.
"Ugh why am I so stupid, how did I not know that!"
In our life we are either didn't know, don't know, or won't know something.
There are tons of knowledge in this world, how could we possibly know all of them? Even the smartest and most informed person in the world still don't know something. What is that something? I don't know.
It's important to realize the fact that we didn't know, don't know, or won't know something. Therefore, we can move on by accepting the knowledge we got from the didn't know, more aware of what you don't know, and realize so many things that you won't know.
Rule No. 9: Always have backup plan to be prepared to minimize the risk
In reference to the rule no. 2, you should have backup plan to try and minimize the risk instead of eliminating risks entirely since we all know that risk and profit go hand in hand.
Truth is, many people didn't have any anticipation when things go wrong and their life turn into a big mess. There is always a preventive methods to minimize the mess by having a backup plan. For example, it is good to save money so that when you are being laid off from work you are still surviving well or you can also have backup plan in case the event you planned didn't turn out the way it's supposed to be. Whatever it is, in life you should always have a backup plan. What if the backup plan doesn't work? That is okay since you have tried your best and anticipated for what you know. You can't possibly know what will happen exactly and prevented that. Nobody can see the future. But you should always have a backup plan.
This also applies to investment. In investment, it is important to have a backup plan if all of your investments are free-falling. It's important for investors to still being able to keep their life going even though their investments are in the worst condition. People say, "don't put your eggs in one basket" and that is very true. Sometimes people might think "this investment is so good I will put all my money into it" without considering if everything goes wrong, they have absolutely no backup plan.
Rule No. 10: Assumptions will get you (and others) nowhere
Have you ever assume what people thinking and just roll with it instead of openly communicate with them about how you feel?
We live in a world where people openly assume one another and communications aren't that open.
I get that we don't want to communicate our feelings openly because we might be afraid to offend others. But to keep our assumptions and use it to form our judgement might do more harm than good. It is like an invisible monster that is actually eating you alive slowly and quietly. You don't feel it, but the damage is slowly increasing.
Not just in couples, but many friendships, work, and even family relationships are torn apart thanks to assumptions.
In the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray, it is written how men and women brains often think and see things very differently, hence there are many arguments and conflicts in relationships. But honestly, this happens not only to men and women but also in men and men, women and women, old to young, etc.
Everyone lives a very different life and has different history, hence some people might not get you or understand your struggle. They might sound insensitive to you when in reality, they never experience such a thing that they are not aware of it at all.
For example, sometimes the wealthy people might assume that the poor people are lazy and that their poverty is all their fault. They might also think that the way poor people spending money are not wise and that further emphasize on their fault for being poor. What they might not understand is that the poor people are often work harder than most people yet they are not getting rich because they are stuck in the deadly loop of high needs and low income. To get more income, there are way more things need to be done than just "work harder".
Assumptions are dangerous because it tends to make people create their own version of reality and therefore not aware that they need to do something to help one another.
All in all, we are not making progress and stuck in the middle of nowhere if we continue to assume.
Rule No. 11: Luck plays a big role in life.
There are many things in life that happened and didn't happen thanks to luck. Have you ever heard of the story that goes like this: "Suddenly, something happen and therefore this person rose to success" or this: "Apparently, something happened so that person didn't make it." ?
The best story to describe this is the story of Kent Evans, Bill Gates' childhood best friend who sort sparked the idea of Microsoft. Back then, they love talking about gadgets, technology, and even the future. I'd imagine if Kent didn't die during the mountain climbing, he would probably be one of the richest man today along with Bill Gates. This is the example of how luck really plays an important role in life.
Many times, we might be jealous at a certain public figure because they were just so lucky. They are the son/daughter of wealthy or powerful people, or maybe they are just found out of luck by the public thanks to the social media algorithm, or that they are friends with powerful people. Whatever that is, we might have some reason to be jealous of others who succeed by luck.
Sometimes we might even discredit others' success because it all started with luck. We act as if luck is nothing at all.
While it's true that luck isn't something we can work on and that it just happens to fall on us one day out of nowhere without us even trying to get it, luck is actually a pretty credible thing and luck plays a big role in whatever we do.
Part of the reason why some people stuck in the endless loop of high needs and low income is due to- you guessed it- luck. They might just be unlucky that they are born into a low income household and the only people they can depend on is the government's help and themselves. Nobody else to ask for help because people around them are just as struggling.
We unfortunately can't help on which household we are born into.
Here's a personal story of mine, I can't help but to feel bad for myself for being born into a country struggling heavily on debt and corruption that most of the time, the government is focusing on the financial condition instead of the well-being of its citizen like some other countries out there.
But at the same time, I have to count my blessings and being thankful for my luck. Out of all my siblings, my story is always told to be very lucky. My parents always told their relatives that it just so happen their business took off when they got me that I ended up born in a good hospital, or how I get can some form of education because suddenly there is a huge influx of income. It is always so-and-so happened and I ended up having better life, being safe, or being treated with kindness by some strangers.
Some people are also getting the bad luck by being abused and surrounded by bad people since they were young that they grew up to be a bad person as well. I used to think, why do people gets abused at such a young age while others don't. Like, what kind of mechanism chooses them to be born into an abusive family or not?
Until today I have no explanation. I guess that is something I won't know.
But the point is, luck plays a huge role in whatever you are doing and I guess sometimes you can credit your success to not just your skills, talents, and hard work, but also your luck.
I am not saying this so you'll pray hard luck falls into your way. I am also not converting you to the religion "Luckianity".
I am also not encouraging you to get some of those lucky emblem and waving cat statue as they are nothing but scam. Luck cannot be recreated and anyone that is trying to sell you products/service that claims so are lying.
Rather, I want you to acknowledge that you can do as much effort as you will but ultimately an out-of-control aspect of life called "Luck" will either make it or destroy it. And so if that happens, the only thing you can do is to try again.
Rule No. 12: You can be both in control and not in control of your life.
Referring to the rule no. 11, I am acknowledging that there are things we can control and things we absolutely can't control in this life. Also, referring to rule no.1, life is not meant to be fair.
Maybe someone can have everything (or so it seems), wealth, health, perfect look, loving family and friends, and the perfect happy job while here you are typing alone in your room with classical music playing on your Spotify free plan while at the same time struggling thinking of the future as your savings depleting and your living condition is uncertain.
Whatever that is, know that whatever that is happening in your life may or may not be caused by your actions. It is too simple to think that action caused reaction when in reality many things caused reaction. And out of that many things there are things you are in control of and things you are not in control of.
If things are solely caused by your action, you'd probably already living the best life by now. You worked really hard, you be kind to everyone but why is life still not great for you?
For a result to happen, there are -as we know- luck that plays the big role, other people's condition which determines the response you'll receive, the world economy, the government decision, the public's point of view, and many other things on top of your actions.
When we acknowledge that sometimes we are not in control with our life, we tend to credit the condition or luck.
"Why do I have bad luck? God, do you hate me?"
or
"I'm so lucky, the universe loves me"
When we acknowledge that sometimes we are in control with our life, we tend to credit ourselves.
"Ugh I'm so stupid and useless. How did I not get that right?"
or
"I'm so good and talented, I can do everything I want!"
To connect that reaction comes solely from our action is the easiest explanation over everything.
It's often "This person got robbed because her house door is left unlocked." instead of "This person's house got robbed because the thief happened to be there and saw that the door is unlocked and fortunately for the thief, there are many valuable things in that home. On top of that, the neighborhood were empty and therefore nobody saw the thief coming in."
It's often "This person stuck in bad job because they aren't working hard enough." instead of "This person realized he is stuck in a bad job, he dislikes the job but he happens to be rejected in many job applications he sent out and there is no other way to support his family's livelihood than to work in that bad job. Also, he has been working the hardest he can in the past years and developing other skills that he can afford."
Not to mention, natural disaster is a big thing. You can be hardworking, rich, having the best career and living life in your resort-like home and suddenly a massive earthquake comes in and shook everything to the ground. Although with today's technology is is easier to detect a natural disaster before it happened, it still doesn't stop it from happening and wiping out people's possession instantly.
So what is the point of this rule?
The point is, live your life the way it is without worrying too much. Make the maximum effort to get what you want and trust that if it meant for you, it will happen. If it didn't happen, let's not jump into the conclusion of "it's all your fault". Too much of blaming ourselves might lead to a terrible mental state and drives you insane.
So what do you do if things in life is not entirely due to your actions? Should you just give up?
Of course not. Because if you don't do anything and just let everything happen on its own, you are not really adding your actions to the equation and therefore you might unknowingly increasing or decreasing your chance of success. The saying "never know until you try it" is really true and important here. Interesting, isn't it?
That's the 12 rules for life my me.
This is a pretty long writing for me and I am unsure if people would read, but if you have reached this far, congratulations and thank you!
What do you think? Do you agree with any of it? Or do you have your own 12 rules for life?
Let me know down in the comments below.
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